It is not uncommon for divorcing spouses to disagree about how they should go about getting divorced. Odds are, you two are already in a contentious place, and it can be difficult—if not impossible—to see eye-to-eye on anything. But you already know that divorce mediation is likely the best way for you two to reach a smart resolution that benefits you both.
So how do you get your spouse to agree to divorce mediation? Your best bet is to focus on the benefits whenever discussing mediation, and to follow the few tips laid out here to help get your spouse to the mediation table.
Focus on the Benefits Your Spouse Will Receive Through Mediation
- It will save your spouse money. Divorce litigation is costly. From attorney’s fees and discovery fees to court costs and more, going to court to get divorced is not the economical choice.
- It will save your spouse time. It takes much less time to find a mediator and go through the mediation process than it does to wait for a court date. Mediation generally also takes less time than the court process, often meaning you miss less work and have
- It will show your children you can work things out respectfully. By mediating your divorce, your spouse will show your children that the both of you are willing to set aside anger and work amicably toward a resolution. This will allow your children to see that, even when situations get tough, you can both make the decision to do what is in everyone’s best interests.
- It will lay a better foundation for co-parenting. Tied intrinsically with number 3 above, you will likely maintain a better relationship with one another, and thus with your children, if you can work together to achieve a divorce outcome you agree with.
3 Tips to Get Your Spouse to the Mediation Table
- Share information about divorce mediation with your spouse. Find a good article or two and send them to your spouse. Speak to your divorce lawyer about the cost differences between paying for mediation versus paying for litigation, and provide that information to your spouse. The more information you can share, the more informed you and your spouse will be.
- Enlist the support of friends and family. Ask friends or family members to speak up about mediation to your spouse. Have them help you share the message.
- Ask your spouse to attend just one session to see how they like it. Divorce mediation isn’t often over in one session. So ask your spouse to attend one session to get a feel for the process and to see what they can get out of it. This could be the one small step you need to get them on board fully.
If, after all of this, your spouse still doesn’t agree, speak further with an experienced divorce lawyer to review your options so you can continue moving forward.